WEEK FOUR

So the last days of the Fringe approached, and so the drinking stepped up a notch! In the last few days I had so many shots of Krupnickas, and the lethal combination consisting of the jagermeister, quickly followed by a beer - good stuff! Not so good when you wake up the next morning slightly worse for wear, or still drunk, neither are a nice option really!

My work got a little bit ore stressful (and a lot more weird) with the arrival of another show into my largest venue. He is a strange guy who always refers to his character in the third person all the time - I had been warned about him, but went to meet him with an open mind, and within seconds he had conformed to every annoying trait people had told me about - I don't think I have ever disliked someone wo quickly after meeting them! But anyway, the addition of this show into my day meant that I had 500 people to deal with - 200 coming out of the theatre, whilst trying to deal with 300 trying to get in. Good times! But it all went well the first night, and on the second the shit hit the fan, and the security people at the front door had a bit of a hissy fit at me because of the queue, and then stopped everyone coming in the building - not the most useful solution to the problem, and then caused all the other shows to wonder where their audience was! But, after all the commotion for about 30 minutes, everything was sorted and the place seemed deadly quiet and back to normal again! So, of course after all that a cold beer was required and then after my shift finished I continued my assault on my liver with a few moscatos, and then a few more for good measure - I didn't have to work in the morning. Oh wait, yes I did. So, I declined the offer to go home early with Toni and just stayed till the bitter end, much to my amusement as otherwise I would have missed one of he volunteers (who had been hitting on me all night, and ha subsequently been given a random number when he asked for mine - ooops!) being crushed by a table falling off the trolley they were on - I shouldn't laugh, but if he was such a creep part of me thinks he deserved it!

So yeah, next day I woke up bright and early at 9am with a cracker of a hangover, and attempted to get myself ready for work - I managed to force down some toast, and then took my tea with me for the journey to work in the TRUCK! Great fun, never been in a big truck before! So, off we all went ready for the bump out. Kind of ready anyway. So, the day was spent, on my part, learning how to take lights down, packing up big projector screens, and general carrying stuff about, and my final meal from Urban Burger in a long time - I hope anyway! The day ended wwith all the techs (and me, being the limpet that I am) sitting on the stairs of 225 Bourke Street having a beer.

Just as I thought I had paid my penance, Will offered me a few more hours work the next morning emptying the truck into storage. I foolishly agreed. A few more hours pay would be useful anyway, and none of it seemed that bad. So, we did all that fun, and by 2pm were in the pub having a pint, paid for with the money that had been left in 'Tip Jar' for the bar at work. Fools!

The next few days were spent enjoying not being at work, and not doing much in the way of anything productive but, as the weather has really turned nice now, I was truly initiated into the Australian way of life, and we had a BBQ. Great fun, and have decided that I actually like BBQs if they are for veggies, and it isn't just a spare roll and some potato salad. One day I will learn to cook (or just pester Will and Toni until they give me all their secrets!)

I decided to eventually go and get my visa printed and stuck into my passport, and I figured it would be easier than showing them an email, or just taking my word for it! As they only did this service between 9am-11am I got up early, braved the terrible rainy weather that had descended, and went into the city. I found the place relatively easily, and sound the Immigration Office. Only then to be told that they no longer print these visas, and instead, if someone wants to check my immigration status they have to phone up a number and go through it that way. This is apparently to make it easier for everyone. All they have to do is turn their bloody printer on, and they will be sorted, and so would I be. But after being told categorically that they cannot do it for me I left and decided to go and visit a rainy Brunswick Street. In doing so I realised it was still half nine in the morning and most of the shops there werent even open, so went to hide in the closest cafe, which turned out to be amazing, with the most fantastic almost croissant in the world. I shall go back there again and treat myself to a different kind of cake. Even after this impromptu breakfast the shops still weren't open, so I decided it was time to head home - and treated myself to a 'Frankie' magazine and jumped on a train. 

After falling a little bit more in love with Brunswick Street a little bit too much, it became my destination for the next day too, but this time it was beautifully sunny. I went back to Bimbo's for $4 pizza and to use their beer garden to sit outside and write stuff. I would love to say I did anything more than eat pizza and drink beer for the rest of the afternoon, but I didn't. On my way home I also decided to buy a Krispy Kreme doughnut which I have always eyed up on my way past the shop, and it didn't disappoint.

So, another week, the end of the Fringe and the start of my tourist days - I fear there will be a lot more cakes, teas, and coffees coming my way as I explore more bits of the city!

WEEK THREE

This was the week of many things happening, starting with a day off work, and therefore a lie-in!

The day was spent just milling about in the garden and watching slightly too much time watching the Commonwealth Games as it was rainy outside. We all also had a treat of eating a meal off a plate, which was a novelty after 6 days of dinner coming from somewhere on Errol St.

Before work the next day me and Will had decided to go to the Tim Burton Exhibition in the 'acmi' (Australian Centre for the Moving Image) so, we got up early and went into the City - and straight to the closest coffee place! The exhibition was amazing, and had had Edward Scissorhands' outfit, the creepy talking heads from Mars Attacks! and the Mad Hatter's costume from Alice in Wonderland, amongst a lot of brilliant artwork and other props from all his films. I loved it! I pottered about in the City for the rest of the day before I had to work and just explored a bit more, and was also treated to 3 free 'coon' cheese toasties from the 'coonisseurs' in Fed. Sq. so spent the rest of my free time watching the Commonwealth games in the sun eating cheese sandwiches. Fantastic.

I took the dogs to a beautiful park which is just down the road from us today because it was a lovely day and so sunny I thought we should all go on a walk! It's a really lovely park, and has an area the dogs can run free - which was great fun for them, until Joey noticed another dog and that was the end of that - she was gone. When I eventually got them both back it was time to potter back and get ready for work. I had run out of time to make Will's birthday cake, so decided I would come home after my shift finished and bake it then. I have no idea what happened in the next few hours other than my plan changed dramatically, but we eventually all got back from work at 4am, and were very very drunk. Cake baking still had to be done before the morning, so thought I could just get it done now - being drunk'll just make it more fun. Well that was true for the first hour or so, but I started to sober up and get a hangover at about 5:30am and still waiting for the cake to come out the oven. At 7am I finished the mission, and the cake was finished, and I had missed night time!! I Shall now remember drunken cake baking is fun, but also very messy and takes much longer than it should!

When I woke up (after a 3 and a half hour nap) it was Will's birthday, which meant we could open presents and eat cake in the morning. As his birthday had officially started 11 hours ago it had meant that he had already been embarrassed by the people at work once, but during the whole day they continued to manage to get him up on tables, standing on chairs, and having the whole room sing him 'Happy Birthday' to him. Not bad for someone who doesn't like to acknowledge the day in any way! We pottered about in the morning, and then the new guy who is moving in came over briefly so I got a chance to meet him!

The next day the skies opened and the weather turned! It was a proper storm - with lashings of rain, huge forks of lightning and rumbling thunder - it was brilliant, apart from the fact I was stuck out in the rain trying to get to work when it was so horrible. It would have been much nicer if I was curled up in a cafe watching the rain with a large hot chocolate. By the time I got to work (even after being picked up by Will and Toni in the car!) I was soaking and had to attempt to dry my top as it was soaking, and - finally managed to get my hand son a 'Crew' t-shirt!! After years of trying, all it needed was to look like an absolute drowned rat - now it is mine and they can never have it back. Hurray!

The rest of the week was spent working and eating lots of food from Urban Burger, and the 7/11...mmmm, Digestive biscuits for dinner - got to love a festival diet! I did however find a very nice bakery that does very fancy cakes and got a huge slab of cheesecake from them for $1.50 - was brilliant and was covered in fresh fruit. Not bad! I also found some rather amusing things on my walk to work! There is a Lothian St just round the corner from Snax cafe - am I actually still in Edinburgh? Also, the lovely 'Candelles' wedding venue and dress shop - it is horrible, as they had the door open one day and it is like a meringue and a lace factory crashed into each other - lots of lovely cream and pink frilly dresses - also I think their sign is meant to say 'Angel of Love', but maybe not?

Well I am just gearing up to the end of the Fringe now! It has been such fun, and someone has offered me a job at Melbourne Comedy Festival (well, pretty much!) so I can't have buggered it up too much! It has been such a brilliant experience to have a new role and actually be in amongst the drunken punters - I think deep down I just enjoy shouting at people! It's been fun, but I am getting over it slightly now - it's not only me though. Someone else got bored and decided to tape Will's hand to his face. Completely normal behaviour of course. 

WEEK TWO

Right, well I have already proved that I am crap at this, but I will endeavour to keep it up to date from this point onwards (I'm sure I said that a couple of weeks ago, but, maybe I can succeed this time!)

OK then, I started with work at Melbourne Fringe 2010 which is a whole new role from everything I have been used to and am now a Front Of House manager - which I hopefully won't cock up too much! I will have a few volunteers every night to look after doors, but apparently I am in charge of the whole venue - not scary in the slightest! I have quickly learnt that all nights in the place go much quicker when you start the evening with a couple of Krupnickas from the bar! It is Lithuanian honey vodka, and as I don't really like honey or vodka that much I was pleasantly surprised at the drink, but it is amazing, very sweet and syrupy, and warms you from the inside which is what is needed in the world's coldest building. 



Also,  at the end of each night there is a Club where Will and Toni work which has free entertainment and a DJ at the end, which means I have somewhere to go and drink at the end of my shift and have forced myself onto the techs so they have to make friends with me - they have no choice!! Mwah ha ha! Various people have also given me free drinks cards for the bar, so to-date I am yet to pay for a drink, which is a massive bonus. Also means I am semi-nocturnal now and it seems early if we all get home before 3am.  Which also sometimes leads to some kind of silliness - note, Joey with a small children's jacket on - she really didn't appreciate it and for some reason took out her frustrations on Turnip until we freed her from the clothing again - she enjoyed it really!

The other Front of House manager has also not stopped talking about the strange costumes he wears everyday during the Fringe and for a while tried to get me to dress up too - this has just led to a 'telling off' at the end of each evening with him asking why I am wearing jeans...the strangest thing he has worn so far is top-hat and tails, which although is slightly impressive, it is not the more outrageous lion outfit he has told me about many times. All I can say is I am glad I am in a different building to him entirely as his 'eccentric' ways would start to grate on me very quickly (they almost are already!). 

I also had my first taste of a sell-out show in my largest venue, which is stressful, but really good fun, and really marks the difference between sitting behind a box office selling the tickets, and the side of it when you are having to deal with 330 people coming in and out of a venue, even roughly on time - gets the heart going as I can't seem to figure out the logistics without running up and down the stairs about 6 times in the space of 10 minutes! It doesn't help that the people who go to this particular comedy show barely have 2 brain cells to rub together and truly are the biggest bunch of idiots I have ever met! Getting them in and out is like herding cows - sadly we aren't allowed to use cattle prods on them, it would help a lot though. One of the shining examples of their moronic behaviour is that one woman (fake tan, and stilletto'd) looked at a room of empty seats, and then decided to sit on the one with a 'Reserved' sign on it - she then put the sign on her lap! Top class that one! Safe to say, I have once again been reassured that the general public are stupid - individuals are fine to deal with, but put them in a group and they turn into animals. 

Oh, I managed to lock myself out of the house when I took the dogs out for a walk one day. When I left I must have snapped the key off in the lock without noticing, so when I arrived home, just in time to jump in the shower before work, grab some food and run out the house to work again, I pulled out my key-ring and was greeted with half a key on the end of it. I then had to spend the next 20 minutes trying to break into the house, and phoning Will to confess I had broken the lock!

I spent my day off with Phil and Rowan and they showed me round their little area of town. Will had told me about a pizza place that did $4 pizzas so we decided to go there for food and then go and see Boy at the cinema. Pizza place is on Brunswick St, which is lovely, ad so very kitsch and 'cool' - it really does try too hard, but some of the shops there are full of the weird and the wonderful, and I will have to go there for a proper explore at some point, and treat myself for lunch in Vegie Bar, a plan for when I don't have to work in the evening. Pizza was very good, and the place has some cool little nooks and crannies you can sit it, and as it was crappy weather I could have happily sat there all day and just drunk hot drinks and watched the rain! Saying that, the lady behind the bar seemed to have some kind of problem every time you asked her for something - not weird things, just things like, a drink - You are standing behind the bar, stop being such a moody cow when someone wants a beer!!

Anyway, that has been my week, I have lost my evenings, and most of my dinners now come from a plastic box or a paper bag, and I am starting to miss cutlery! But, it has been a baptism of fire into my new job and I am loving the new challenge I get everyday - that's the problem when the people you are working with don't get paid! Sometimes they just wander off halfway through their shift...not good! So yeah, one more week of the Fringe, and the Tim Burton Exhibition ends on the same day as I finish work, so I have to go there before my shift one day!